Not Everyone Is Your Friend: Networking vs. Using– Find A Happy Place

In life, not just the writing world, but families, jobs, social settings, even church–not everyone is going to be your friend. They may ‘act’ like they like you, when in fact, they are sizing you up to see what use you can be to them.

There is a huge difference between networking and using. Networking, to me, is making connections with people who have similar interests and goals as me. Our connection allows us to form a support group for each other and if we hear something that might benefit someone we’ve connected with within our network ( and networking is a wonderful way to make new friends) we pass it along in an attempt to help that person. Here’s the slippery slope:  If you are passing that information on with the idea that now that person ‘owes you’, you’ve just used them. You may have helped them, but it wasn’t with an altruistic purpose that you helped them. You were creating a marker that you expect to collect on at some later date–when it benefits you.

I simply like to help people. It makes me feel better that I’ve done something for someone and maybe lightened their load. I’m not obsessive about it and need to do it to validate myself so I know I have a reason for existing. I just genuinely like to help people. And if I help someone, I don’t do it thinking they owe me anything. I do it because it helps them and I know that by helping my fellow-man or woman, God sees me doing that and he will take care of me when I have a need, because I’m being obedient to his commandments.

I don’t limit how he meets that need. He’s God. He knows the best way to help me. And for that reason, he sends some pretty amazing people into my life that I know have made me realize something important about myself because I met them. I’m thankful that he does that and I’m so thankful that I get the chance to meet these wonderful people, and if I’m truly blessed, I can call them my friend.

Why am I writing this today?  Mostly, I’m dealing with a rather big happy-emotion drainer in my personal life and I’m reflecting on the good things I have so I don’t get sucked into the ugliness of a situation I have no control over. Note I claim no control over the situation. I have complete control over me and my  thoughts. Hence, the ruminating.

If you saw the movie “Finding Nemo”, there is a scene in the fish tank where the Starfish suctions herself to the upper corner of the tank and chants “find a happy place, find a happy place.” That’s me. And my happy place is immersed in my writing and the wonderful people who make up the world of writing and those within it that I can proudly call my friends.

Thank you for giving me a happy place to go to when things in my life aren’t as rosy as I’d prefer.



About KD Fleming

KD Fleming's romance writing adventure began on a dare. But the real adventure started after she discovered she had the heart of a storyteller. Writing both sweet and inspirational stories about strong women who could be any one of us, her heroines are sassy and fierce. And once their hearts are engaged by the man who is destined for them, there's no chance the hero won't fall--but what a way to go. KD lives in sunny Florida with her hero husband of 15+ years. She loves music (all things Casting Crowns and OneRepublic), Marvel Movies--ALL things Avengers (ahem, *Robert Downey, Jr*, Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, and Mark Ruffalo). Oh my! She spends her time taking care of her family, reading, writing, cooking, and coming up with new ideas for fun romance stories.

Posted on May 19, 2012, in For Inspiration. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Dixie Lee Taylor

    Thank you for sharing. This is awesome. I too rely on my true friends to keep my head above water during trying times. Don’t know what I’d do without them. Thanks again for sharing.

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